Who lives in a pineapple in the city? Absorbent and yellow and human (?) is he! This nautical nonsense be something you wish would flop on the stage and not sound like sh*t! SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical is here and with a healthy helping of hype. SpongeBob has been around forever, and no matter how old someone is if they’ve seen SpongeBob, the temptation to see this musical is there. With so many years of enjoyment comes countless questions like how will Sandy sing with a big glass tank on her head? Or how do you make SpongeBob and Patrick human without giving me nightmares? Or, my biggest question, how do you give Squidward four legs?

Well all this and more is answered and exceeds expectations. Sure, Patrick looks like a pink John Candy, but Sandy’s afro makes up for everything. Not only is this production thought out, but also it’s also modern, diverse. In addition to this, the set’s highly reclaimed and colorful style screams kid-friendly, injecting a dose of whimsy from the moment you walk through the door.

Considering the second-rank quality of more recent seasons and the show’s impending finale, this musical’s success was crucial to the franchise. As the audience trickled in, it was surprising to find the child to adult ratio was overwhelmingly tilted towards the older generations. Long-time fans dragged their kids in with high hopes and expectations of their old-favorite ending on a good note, even though its star-studded soundtrack basically guaranteed this.

From The Flaming Lips to Aerosmith, this musical showed an impressive collection of talented artists showing their fun side by singing (and rapping – thanks T.I.) about pirates, money, the end of the world and friendly cleaning supplies. But writing the songs is only half the battle: Finding qualified performers to serve these great artists justice would determine if this play would be a Moulin Rouge or a Rock of Ages. (You can decide which one is the bad one: I don’t want to start any trouble.)

Characters such as Plankton, Karen and Squidward stood out with strong sense of character while Pearl and Sandy displayed an even stronger range. And it seems necessary to mention that all four of Squidward’s miraculously functional feet knock your socks off with a grand tap dance number.

SpongeBob gains an honorable mention for being one of the scrappiest people I’ve seen on a stage. He climbed, jumped, flipped

through ladders and par-cored across all corners of the stage, making it (way too) clear that he was most certainly NOT a just simple sponge.

There were only a few eye-rolling moments, the main on being the cast’s fixation on SpongeBob and whether or not he was a simple sponge. Blame goes partially to Panic! At the Disco for writing the song “Not a Simple Sponge” and for the writers being too lazy to write a transition stronger than “SpongeBob, you can’t do this: You’re just a simple sponge.” I mean, come on! I’m gagging. But, I digress.

Overall, the play was a breath of fresh air. There are no regrets here in Chicago, and the audience is guaranteed to leave with a smile on their face. But, why David Hasselhoff and his magical pectorals didn’t make a cameo, I will never know.