This week I switched over to non-fiction and read music artist Japanese Breakfast’s memoir “Crying In H Mart”. Michelle Zauner tells the story of her upbringing and her mother’s battle with cancer through the consistent motif of food from her culture. She dissects not only mother-daughter relationships but the complex traumas that accompany mixed-race/immigrant families. Her vulnerability and vivid characterization combine for a beautiful story filled with insights and reflections.
- The Woman That Loves You – Japanese Breakfast
Obviously, I had to start with a Japanese Breakfast song given that it’s her book. The lyrics describe a difficult form of love, one that describes a sort of push and pull that is ultimately destructive. Underlying themes of abandonment and neglect work in conjunction with the dreamy, almost whiny vocals. The song serves as a prelude to the book itself and prepares the reader for the emotional turmoil to come.
- Fourth of July – Sufjan Stevens
Melancholy and nostalgia are undoubtedly the most prominent feelings evoked by Zauner’s storytelling. While I cannot resonate completely with her experiences, those being unique to her own life and hardships, I feel a kinship with the pain. Everyone experiences feelings of loss or heartache and this song is the musical and lyrical embodiment of wishing for something more, yet not knowing exactly what.
- Kyoto – Phoebe Bridgers
You know those songs that sound upbeat but are an absolute emotional minefield? Well, that’s how it felt reading this book, and “Kyoto” possesses the same tone and, for lack of a better term, vibe. The lyrics are in reference to the tumultuous relationships between a child and their parent, the entire premise of the novel as Zauner struggles to relate to both her mother and her father.
- This is what the drugs are for – Gracie Abrams
Sometimes grief is all consuming and whether you are mourning the living or the dead, the feeling of abandonment is familiar to those who have experienced loss. Growth and change are an inevitability, in Abrams’ words sometimes all you have to hold onto are the dreams and the memories left behind.
- Fade Into You – Mazzy Star
There is a unique sense of unsatisfied acceptance at the end of the novel and I found myself retreating to this song for comfort as I read the final pages. On one hand, Zauner has come to terms with what has happened and yet there is also this certainty of regret that her hopes were not met. Reconciliation and gratitude aside, sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to, and “Fade Into You” encompasses that feeling.
