Mother is a term coined by the internet to describe any iconic female individual. This use of the word stemmed from, like almost all “online slang”, POC within ballroom and drag culture. The term ‘Mother’ was used often as an exclamation, a sound of praise towards a feminine individual who had the ability to look and act in a fierce and opulent manner, likening to a powerhouse figure such as a mother. The term is still used today, not just in balls, but rather globally on the internet.
To be considered ‘Mother’, a celebrity or feminine individual in the media must commit an act so iconic they garner the praise and celebration from a mass of fans. The term ‘Gay Icon’ has been somewhat replaced by the word ‘Mother’. In almost all cases of celebrities being dubbed a ‘Gay Icon’ or ‘Mother’, they themselves were given the title after their fans viewed them worthy. Like all words developed from POC in the ballroom scene, using ‘Mother’ has become more popular to the point where it is now commodified and used by those who do not understand the severity of the term. There is no better case of this than the 2023 song “Mother” by American singer-songwriter and wife of one half of the Spy Kids, Meghan Trainor.
In an interview with People, Trainor dropped the song as a response to the men in the music industry who claimed having a child would end her career. The song garnered much attention on TikTok shortly after dropping in March of this year and the reactions were mixed. Her more mainstream fanbase lived for more music from their favorite singer who is ‘all about that bass’, and scrollers of TikTok enjoyed making dances to it. However, there was a substantial number of listeners who did not care for the canned, derivative, Old Navy-radio sound. There was also a bad taste left in many listeners’ mouths at her deeming herself ‘Mother’. Whether it was her intention or not to call herself ‘Mother’ in praise sense, many found it just another case of the white cishet majority borrowing from queer culture, specifically POC queer culture, to make money. This was not helped by Trainor making several videos featuring the gay influencer, infecting everyone’s ‘for you’ page, Chris Olsen.
The difference between “Mother” by Meghan Trainor and other dance-pop songs from ‘Mothers’ this year, like “Padum Padum” by Kylie Minogue or “Dance the Night Away” by Dua Lipa, is that fans felt “Mother” was trying too hard to capitalize on those saying ‘Mother’ online, specifically queer music fans. Most queer music listeners gravitate towards Minogue or Lipa because they embrace their queer fans but do not create music to pander to them. While Kylie Minogue likely expected “Padum Padum” to be a hit with her massive queer fanbase, she did not make it to spotlight their presence.
At the end of the day, ‘Mothers’ are not made, they are forged. One cannot proclaim themselves an icon, it is up to the people to decide who they gravitate towards. Creators can never predict what the consumers want and this is just something to be embraced. Personally, I hold no hatred for Meghan Trainor in my heart and no one should; I just think some people are ‘Mother’ and others are not.
Examples of ‘Mother’:
- Lady Gaga, Mother Monster
- Beyoncé, Mother of the BeyHive
- Cher, Mother Supreme
- Kylie Minogue, Mother Down Under
- Sarah Michelle Gellar, Mother… and Slayer
- Elvira, Mistress (and Mother) of the Dark
- Sasha Colby, Mother and Your Favorite Drag Queen’s Favorite Drag Queen
- Janet Jackson, Mother of Rhythm Nation
- Nicole Kidman, Mother of AMC
Don’t forget to show your ‘Mothers’, or even your real maternal figures, some love.
