Opener “I Forgot That You Existed” starts with a basic bubblegum pop bassline, sadly assuring us once again Swift holds no interest in returning to her country roots anytime soon. What’s often kept her recent pop albums afloat, however, has been her pen in divulging past relationships. Unfortunately, most of the wordplay is nothing spectacular, leaving dull lines such as “In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah”.

Alt-rock phenom St. Vincent has a writing credit on the superior follow-up “Cruel Summer”, not that it’s noticeable: in the pool of breakup songs across this LP, the “Masseduction” singer isn’t able to pump any of her steamy one-liners here. However, pulsating synths courtesy of Jack Antonoff help Taylor craft the LP’s best and least-annoying chorus.

The first three tracks focus on Swift’s love life, but “The Man” brings a welcome turn to the writing. The track takes a break from all the sappy stuff to pit double standards in our face. Seeing Swift in this element makes for the LP’s best writing by far, spitting relevant zingers like “If I was out flashing my dollars/I’d be a bitch, not a baller”. It comes at an interesting time in the star’s career surrounding her alleged money-hungry persona, but this song lands enough punches to get its point across. If only there had been more times Swift went out of her comfort zone like this.

Thoughts have already been made loud and clear for “ME!”, so we’ll confirm the context of the whole record doesn’t change any perceptions of the horrific lead single and leave it at that. The second single (and now head-scratching VMA winner) “You Need to Calm Down” showcases Swift trying to paint herself as some kind of LGBT equality trailblazer. Rhyming “mad” and “GLAAD” isn’t much more than a knee-slapper, and the “Shade never made anybody less gay” line has garnered mixed reactions from the LGBT community. Part of the frustration comes from knowing that there are plenty of songs similar in theme yet greater in quality, and it hurts to see flatter ones like this receive so much attention solely because a high-profile Top 40 star made it. The final nail in the coffin for both of these singles is the overly glossy production, an all too common complaint for this playlist.

Taylor had Red, her earlier works were golden, but Lover is completely beige. Despite a few outliers, it barely offers anything new to her library. There isn’t much to help it stand out in Swift’s catalogue- no cryptic “Look What You Made Me Do” videos to stir up the internet, nor earworm singles to snowball a massive rollout in the case of 1989. Lover is an album that’s just kind of… there.

SCAD Radio gives it a 6.8/10.

What’s your favorite kind of bear?

Taylor- Polar bears are cute. They’re adorable. Koala bears are cute, too. I’d say a koala bear.

How do you like traveling? You’re from Canada?

I love traveling because I like being able to see so many beautiful cities. I live in Winnipeg, so there’s never a direct flight anywhere. It sucks. It’s nice to have a good “home base” for when I’m traveling. I love it! I like being out and about doing things.

Do you have a favorite place that you’ve done a show?

I did a showcase in New York, and I love New York. I just feel very comfortable there, which is weird because being from such a small city, I’m typically overwhelmed by big cities. But New York for some reason made me feel comfortable. I don’t entirely know why, but I’m very happy about it.

What inspired Shouting Matches, your EP that just came out?

It’s all inspired by life experiences… I wrote a lot about my religious upbringing mainly because songwriting is my way of sifting through things as I think about them. I wrote a lot about relationships, not necessarily romantic ones, but relationships in general. So just everything in my life.

Do you have a favorite song from it?

“New Mercies” probably, though I have a soft spot in my heart for all the different songs. “New Mercies” was the first time that I wrote [a] song and entirely envisioned what it would sound like with a full band. I went to Omaha and worked with [producer] Mike Mogis for this EP, and he just brought it to life in such a beautiful way. I think it’s one of my favorite songs I’ve ever written.

What artists inspire you?

I’m really inspired by Brandi Carlile. The way that she sings with such vulnerability… she can go from doing a beautiful, delicate song to just screaming, and I think that’s so cool. I’m also inspired by MewithoutYou, they’re one of my favorite bands. The lead singer, his lyric writing has inspired my writing so much. Just how out-of-the-box it is and how honest at the same time.

I have to ask, I’m sure everyone does, what is it about Dennis Quaid?

It started as a joke. I really liked The Parent Trap growing up, it was my favorite movie. I really liked that video of him on Ellen when he went to Starbucks with the earpiece and was like “Dennis Quaid is here! Dennis Quaid wants a coffee!” So I’d start walking around everywhere being like “Dennis Quaid wants a coffee!” What started as a joke turned into real life, and now I love him. Then I had a song I didn’t know what to name. Everyone would give me suggestions and they were all stupid, but I was like “Screw it, I’m gonna name it after Dennis Quaid.” It has nothing to do with Dennis Quaid, but I’m gonna name it after him ‘cuz I love him.

Do you think you’ll go in a similar direction in future releases?

Yeah, I’m really loving the full band thing because when I did my first EP Interpersonal it was recorded in a house in Winter with my friend. I obviously didn’t have access to a full band, but I always wanted to play with a full band. For this EP, I got to do what I’d always wanted to do, and I really wanna explore more options with that.

For more on Taylor Janzen’s music, click here.

Almost immediately, Swift exits the scuffle and dives right into the song’s annoying radio-friendly pop she’s been spitting out ever since she left the country genre. Her lyrics are along the same lines you’ve been hearing on Top 40 since the dawn of the ‘10s: she’s having a tough time making it work with her boyfriend, but she also understands she’s part of their problem, all that jazz. Following our reintroduction to T-Swift’s post-country-pre-Reputation mainstream pop brigade, Urie hops out the window with an umbrella Mary Poppins-style. There’s nothing too special about his appearance; he’s just there to play the boyfriend in Swift’s lyrical endeavours.

“ME!” checks all the boxes of a corny song and video shown to kindergartners to help them feel good about themselves, and that’s not only regarding the moment where Swift goes off-rhythm to declare “Hey, kids!/Spelling is fun!” The line “you can’t spell ‘awesome’ without ‘me’” sounds like it was ripped straight out of a lackluster PBS Kids program, not the girl whole stole our hearts more than a decade ago as a young country sweetheart.

The rest of the video is nothing but tacky, holding some less-than-exciting choreography and an overbearing amount of pink and light blue colors. If there’s anything to stop the bleeding, it’s recalling that the rest of Reputation was more textbook-Taylor than its in-your-face lead single, so the upcoming LP is likely to be a different story. That doesn’t shy away from the fact that “ME!” marks a glaring low point in the 29-year-old’s career.