{"id":7687,"date":"2024-04-22T20:14:13","date_gmt":"2024-04-22T20:14:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/?p=7687"},"modified":"2024-04-22T20:15:29","modified_gmt":"2024-04-22T20:15:29","slug":"thank-you-metallica-a-love-letter-to-my-first-metal-band","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/2024\/04\/22\/thank-you-metallica-a-love-letter-to-my-first-metal-band\/","title":{"rendered":"Thank You, Metallica: A Love Letter to my First Metal Band"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Illustration courtesy of Kessy Sambou<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When you\u2019re freshly 16, angry, angsty, and frustrated, trying to understand why no one else understands you, it\u2019s easy to fall into a dangerous pit of \u201cI\u2019m not like everyone else.\u201d However, when you\u2019re too shy to dress like a nonconformist, you listen to music like one. So you dive into this band called Metallica, which, at the time feels like the most nonconformist thing you can do in a community of copy-and-paste teenagers, and find this album called \u201cRide the Lightning.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t anything like other classic rock bands I was exploring. To me, a newbie, it was shocking and unexpected. The guitars are overdriven and played at the speed of light. Songs like \u201cEscape\u201d and \u201cCreeping Death\u201d are intense and chilling, while \u201cFade to Black\u201d is melodic and melancholic. It\u2019s as if the album found me, and through the mind-melting intro of \u201cFight Fire with Fire,\u201d it said to me, \u201cI understand.\u201d From there, I was addicted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In freshman year of high school, I was a dance competition kid, which meant I was at dance 12 hours a week with competitions on the weekends. Sometimes they\u2019d go for multiple days at a time. I wasn\u2019t exactly the most popular kid on the dance team, in fact, I was quite the opposite. My headphones were a good distraction from the fact. I would sit backstage in my \u201cmoon boots,\u201d these puffy shoes you could wear over your dance shoes to protect them. Honestly, I\u2019m not sure what the point of those were. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyways, I would sit in the dusty corners of whatever academic building was being used for the competition and sink into my music. Metallica was the perfect noise for those nauseating moments before going on stage. The great thing about those slivers of time was the fact that I knew no one would expect me<\/em>, the scrawny little kid in the glittery outfit and thick coat of makeup, to be blasting \u201cRide the Lightning\u201d and \u201cMaster of Puppets\u201d before a show. Kirk Hammett\u2019s dizzying, explosive solos distracted from the overstimulating gel sealing my hair down like concrete, the bobby pins stabbing my skull, and costume straps digging into my shoulders.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I remember the first time I heard the chilling, echoey guitar intro for \u201cWelcome Home (Sanitarium)\u201d <\/em>off of their 1986 smash hit \u201cMaster of Puppets.\u201d It was one of those songs you hear for the first time, and then you find yourself unable to listen to any other songs, because you\u2019re so determined to inject your brain with it that you\u2019re stuck playing it over and over again. It\u2019s that sort of tune that tightly holds your hand while you cry. I can\u2019t say I relate to the song on a lyrical level (it\u2019s quite literally the tale of a mental asylum patient), but there was something to the brief moment of common ground between James Hetfield and I when he said, \u201cleave me be.\u201d It felt as if Metallica could feel sad, perhaps it was okay that I did, too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And when the competitions were over, and whatever drama went down that weekend had ended (in dance, drama is a guarantee), I wanted nothing more but to sink into my mattress for eternity and watch TV. When we still had all the channels on cable, MTV had a side channel called MTV Classic, and every evening they\u2019d air reruns of the \u201cHeadbangers Ball.\u201d When the Ball was on I\u2019d put my phone away and travel in time, watching metal music videos and pretending they weren\u2019t reruns at all, that it really was 1988, and that Metallica just released \u201cAnd Justice For All\u2026\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And I listened to Metallica all throughout the next four years of my high school career. It knocked the dance competition bullies over the head, told me to cut my hair and finally show my face off, soundtracked my prom preparation, and influenced my style in college, where I finally embraced the metalhead I am instead of hiding myself under hoodies. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, there\u2019s one album that was always with me: \u201cThe Black Album.\u201d I recall being in the back seat of my dad\u2019s car, excited because he put on \u201cEnter Sandman,\u201d which was the only Metallica song little Emma knew of. It was spooky and different. Even in a car seat, Metallica was telling me that different<\/em> was cool<\/em>, and even though I took a break from my dad\u2019s music throughout my middle school years, the band found me again. And now, at 21, I proudly wear my \u201cmetal up your ass\u201d tee shirt in hopes that I\u2019ll attract some fellow metalheads. It\u2019s an achievement, compared to the days where I was too afraid to draw attention with band tee shirts. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even in my 20s I still sometimes get that pang of feeling misunderstood, and suddenly I\u2019m in my puffy moon boots again hiding in the corner at a dance competition. Whenever that happens, I open Metallica\u2019s discography much like one would \u201cbreak glass in case of emergency,\u201d and the music is holding my hand again and saying, \u201cI understand.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Illustration courtesy of Kessy Sambou. When you\u2019re freshly 16, angry, angsty, and frustrated, trying to understand why no one else understands you, it\u2019s easy to fall into a dangerous pit of \u201cI\u2019m not like everyone else.\u201d However, when you\u2019re too shy to dress like a nonconformist, you listen to music like one. So you dive […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":114,"featured_media":7688,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[265,657,1425,1],"tags":[989,61,1428,576,59,129,97,1028,1426],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7687"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/114"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7687"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7687\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7690,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7687\/revisions\/7690"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7688"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7687"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7687"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scadradio.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7687"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}