Are you the mom that doesn\u2019t quite fit in? Does trying to keep up with the Jones\u2019 bore you to tears? Stupid Jones\u2019, no one cares about your gossip. Do all the kids want to hang out at your house, but you\u2019re not quite sure why?<\/p>\n
Chances are you\u2019re the cool mom on the block! If this is the case, the cutesy decorations and glittery pumpkins probably aren\u2019t your thing when it comes time to get ready for Halloween.<\/p>\n
Not to worry: we\u2019ve got some ideas just for you!<\/p>\n
Chicken Wire Ghosts\u2028 Make one of those kids of yours stand still for a minute and wrap some chicken wire around their torso and legs. Bend and shape the wire to their form and let them out \u2013 only if you\u2019re feeling kind. Not only do you get an eerie human looking ghost to stick in your yard but when they\u2019re being extra bratty after eating all that candy, you\u2019ve got a kid sized straight jacket waiting to keep \u2018em in place. Don\u2019t mess with momma.<\/p>\n
Pumpkins\u2028 Sure, an un-carved pumpkin will last a lot longer but where\u2019s the fun in that? Put some scary faces on those things! Give them teeth and angry eyes, or make them look so stupid all the kids shake their heads while trying to hold in their laughter.<\/p>\n
If you really don\u2019t want to carve a pumpkin, grab some google-y eyes and whatever else catches your attention and break out that glue gun!<\/p>\n
Bonus points for being the mom who takes those healthy seeds out of the pumpkin and ruins them with brown sugar, butter and cinnamon before roasting. Being healthy is overrated.<\/p>\n
Flamingos!\u2028 Who doesn\u2019t secretly want some of those little pink birds in their front yards? Weirdos, that\u2019s who. With summer ending, Halloween is the perfect time to stock up on those babies while they\u2019re hitting the clearance rack. Paint them black, wait until they\u2019re fully dry (seriously, wait for them to dry) then paint on some little birdy skeletons. Dead birds for everyone!<\/p>\n
Spiders\u2028 Spiders are the worst and everyone knows it, so if your kids are being jerks this month buy up all the spider web you can get you hands on and cover the entire house in that junk. Toss those fake plastic spiders all over the web and watch your kids walk around in fear.<\/p>\n
Bonus points for the moms that use this as a chance for free therapy. It\u2019s more cathartic if you chuck \u2018em, plus they stick better!<\/p>\n
Bottle Monsters\u2028 Arms tired from wielding that knife on pumpkins? Try the gentler activity of painting some faces on bottles. Frankenstein, ghosts, mummies: whatever your heart desires. The more bottles the better. Plus if you use wine bottles you have an excuse to drink as much as you feel necessary! The kids get candy, but moms deserve a treat too.<\/p>\n
Aliens\u2028 Miss Mulder terrorizing Scully with his Alien theories every three seconds? Me too. Don\u2019t worry though, you can make your own aliens and torment your family with proof of your insane theories. Get some white balloons and break green glow sticks into them. (Don\u2019t eat the liquid. Just trust me on that.) Once they\u2019re inflated, draw on some alien faces and you\u2019re done! The only thing left to do is to hop into your space ship and pick up those kids determined to be taken to your mother ship. Literally.<\/p>\n
(ha, mom jokes)<\/p>\n
The Big Scare\u2028 And finally, the perfect way to finish off the night: If you really want to scare your family this year, dress up as a witch for Halloween and at the end of the night hand them your broomstick and let them know they\u2019re cleaning everything up. They\u2019ll avoid you for weeks and you\u2019ll be free to watch whatever horror movies you want in peace.<\/p>\n
Victory is sweet as the candy you steal from your children.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Are you the mom that doesn\u2019t quite fit in? Does trying to keep up with the Jones\u2019 bore you to tears? Stupid Jones\u2019, no one cares about your gossip. Do all the kids want to hang out at your house, but you\u2019re not quite sure why? Chances are you\u2019re the cool mom on the block! […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":933,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[258],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n