Your Weekly Horoscope

Here is your weekly horoscope for the week of May 7 – May 13.  The stars have been sending us a lot of  messages lately.  We’re not 100% sure we understand, but we gave it our best shot.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’re a diamond in the rough.  Like, really rough.


Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

That wasn’t chicken you ate.


Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Bigfoot is a lot closer than you think.


Cancer (June 21 – July 22)



Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

Don’t eat ice cream, just because I said so.


Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 22)

A Capricorn is very stressed this week.  How about you make them some cookies or treat them to lunch?

Libra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)

Heels were not a good idea.


Scorpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)

Good boy.


Sagittarius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)



Capricorn (Dec 22 – Jan 19)

Don’t trust Virgos.


Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)

We told you to hurry.  Why don’t you listen?


Pisces (Feb 19 – March 20)

Go listen to this great new band, Stare-281.  THey’re the hottest new band.  Get ahead of the curb.

Comments are closed.