Here’s your horror-scope in honor of All Hallows’ Eve. May you avoid the draft for the Skeleton War.


Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’re feeling uneasy for a reason, just ask the man behind you!



Taurus (April 20 – May 20) 

The dark clouds are leading you to an even darker destination.



Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Are you sure you want to drink that?



Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Whatever you do, don’t look up.



Leo (July 22 – August 22)

Keeping your friends close is good, but it’s getting hard to breathe.



Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Revenge might be sweet, but you’re even sweeter.



Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If you think YOUR costume’s great, you should see the guy dressed as you!



Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

This will only hurt a bit.



Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)




Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You do the mash, you do the monster mash. (It’ll be a graveyard smash.)



Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

One of the masks you wear will fall today.



Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll find out soon enough.