SCAD Radio wishes a Happy Hanukkah to everyone, so here’s this week’s special edition of our weekly horoscope.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
You live your life like a candle in the wind.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Potato pancake visions dance through your head.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Adam Sandler will serenade you with “I Have A Little Dreidel” outside your window tonight.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Chanukah.
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Just when you think you only have the strength to get through one day…you make it through eight.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Your dreidel game is on point this year.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
You are the jelly-donuts.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
You can’t go to temple this year because apparently, your rabbi has a “restraining order” against you.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Know that your ancestors are infinitely cooler than you.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
You are Adam Sandler.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Use the oil to help you escape your enemies.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
You’ll mess up your prayers in front of your whole family…good luck.
