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Your Weekly Menorah-scope


SCAD Radio wishes a Happy Hanukkah to everyone, so here’s this week’s special edition of our weekly horoscope.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You live your life like a candle in the wind.



Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Potato pancake visions dance through your head.



Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Adam Sandler will serenade you with  “I Have A Little Dreidel” outside your window tonight.



Cancer (June 21 – July 22)




Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Just when you think you only have the strength to get through one day…you make it through eight.



Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Your dreidel game is on point this year.



Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You are the jelly-donuts.



Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You can’t go to temple this year because apparently, your rabbi has a “restraining order” against you.



Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Know that your ancestors are infinitely cooler than you.



Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You are Adam Sandler.



Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Use the oil to help you escape your enemies.



Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll mess up your prayers in front of your whole family…good luck.